So everybody’s marching into camp after the amazing double-idol extravaganza that Parvati pulled, with the end result being a stunned JT walking out the door and into the Land of Humiliation. Rupert whispers to Colby, “I tried.” At first I think he might be talking about combing his hair, then I realize he was the only one who believed Sandra about Russell’s lies. Colby, in his cowboy hat, because you really need those at night, just says “Yep.” (Does he think he’s Gary Cooper?)
Candice to the former Villains: “Well, it was a good one you guys. It really was.” Everybody laughs like they’re all best friends, but you can tell that even the Villains can’t believe what happened.
Especially Russell. He’s parked in a tent, pouting because he’s obviously not completely in control anymore. He grills Sandra. Did you know she had the idols? Sandra: Hell, I didn’t know she even had ONE, let alone TWO. Did you know? Nope, Russell says he didn’t know a thing. (Dude, you GAVE her one of those two. Have you ever told the truth in your life? You should try it some time. Just to see what it feels like.)
Russell can’t let it go. Next we have him on the beach with Parv, Jerri and Danielle. He accuses Parvati of lying, and stealing the second idol from him, and blah blah blah. He mean. Cut to Parvati in a sidebar: I think Russell’s a little scared. And that’s fine by me. (You got that right, sister. Toy with that little troll until he snaps.)
Off to the side, Amanda tells Rupert that he was right all along (ya think?) and now they need to scramble and get one of the Villains to jump to their side. Rupert is going to work on Sandra, while Amanda will work on “the others”. (Aside from this being a vague assignment for Amanda, I’m not sure you want Amanda talking to anybody. It was her bad acting skills that clued Parvati in to the fact that the Heroes weren’t writing her name down. Maybe Amanda should just be on coconut duty.)
Then there’s a long montage where Rupert does uninteresting things with the campfire while he whines about people not listening to him. We get it, Rupert. Thanks for repeating it so many times. Now you and your toe need to get Sandra to flip.
Roll opening credits.
Scene with Russell and Candice on the beach, where he’s babbling about “somebody’s gonna jump” and he sure would like to pull Candice in as reinforcements. (In a sidebar, Russell thinks the jumper is Sandra. Of course she’s going to jump, Rustle. You and the Pixie Chicks haven‘t done her any favors.) Russell promises that Candice can be in the top six, and hints at possibly making the top three. (Note to Russ: How can you promise that? Didn’t Parvati just prove that you aren’t running the game? Note to Candy: Run in the other direction like there’s free cheese at Wal-Mart.)
Russell runs to tell the Pixies that Candice is IN, ready to burn her old house down. Now it doesn’t matter what Sandra does.
Then bam, we’re suddenly at the Reward Challenge. No tree mail, nothing. (Did some staffer forget to do something somewhere along the line?) This one’s called “Survivor Shuffle”, a shuffleboard thing where you have to slide discs and try to get them closest to the target. They’re splitting into three teams, and the winners get to visit the Robert Louis Stevenson museum and watch “Treasure Island”.
Sort of a sucky prize, right? And where’s the food? Is this even worth getting dirty and sweaty?
We get going, and once again Sandra proves that she can’t win a damn thing. On her second shot, Jeff can’t help but say “That was a wasted shot right there.” On the very last shot, Colby hits the mark perfectly, so he, Danielle and Amanda are going on reward. (Sandra as she marches away empty-handed: “We’re going to eat all the rice, so don’t go looking for it when you come back.”)
So the three of them show up at Robert L’s house, where a floral-printed woman is telling us things we don’t care about. (“Bob sat in this very chair!”) Everyone looks bored, and Amanda is picking up and examining everything in the museum. (If I were the guide, I would have slapped her, who cares if the cameras are rolling.)
In a sidebar, Amanda says her focus was finding the hidden immunity idol clue. Whatev, girl, you don’t pick up old things that don’t belong to you. Leave that to Tiger Woods.
Then we see the trio lounging on a bed, watching the movie and eating popcorn. (Everyone agrees that the popcorn is deelish. The movie, not so much.) Amanda is paying no attention, with her darting eyes searching the room for the clue. But it’s Danielle that finds the clue in one of the bowls of popcorn. She discreetly throws it under the bed while Amanda is checking the toilet paper roll.
Amanda gets suspicious, goes to Danielle’s side of the bed, and finds the clue. She snatches it up and runs. She and Danielle actually get into a catfight, stomping all over the place. (Colby just lays on the bed, uninterested.) This fight goes on for a while, with Danielle calling Amanda “psychotic” at least 47 times and clawing to get the clue back. All we need is some hot oil and we’ve got Showtime After Dark.
Danielle finally tries to get Colby involved. He actually says “I didn’t see what happened. I was watching ‘Treasure Island.’” (Are you kidding me? They’ve been pulling each other’s hair for twenty minutes.) Colby then says it’s understandable that Amanda took it, we’re desperate. “But it’s YOUR clue, Danielle. You found it.” Amanda finally gives it to her. Danielle: “I need a glass of wine” after that.
Amanda in a sidebar: “Colby wasn’t backing me up.” Honey, it doesn’t matter. If that clue was in MY hands, I’d have ripped it open, read it aloud, and THEN given it back. Do you want the money or not? (And Colby? Shut up.)
So the three get back to camp, and Danielle goes running up to Russ and the Pixies, and tells a totally different story about getting the clue back from Amanda. In her version, she beat Amanda to death with a copy of “Treasure Island” and snatched the clue. (Uh huh.) But yeah, they sort of know I have the clue. Jerri: “So let’s go find it.”
Off they go, scrambling through the undergrowth and shoving rocks around. (At one point, we are treated to a full-screen shot of Danielle’s butt. With THAT being in high-def, I was scared.) And of course, Russell finds it and doesn’t tell the others.
Russell runs to Candice, says he found the idol, and that him showing it to her should be proof that he’s not lying about her coming into the alliance. Candice, no dummy: “Can I see it now?” Russell glances over at the tent where the rest of the folks are lying around, lethargic but still able to keep their eyes open. Umm. Candice: “I want to see it NOW.”
Russell drags her off to wherever he’s got the idol, waves it at her briefly, then says “This is what is going to get us to the final three.” (Oh, now she’s final three?) Candice in a sidebar: “I don’t know if I trust Russell.” How many hundreds of times have we heard people say that, just before they DO trust him and get sent home? Geez.
Now we have Sandra and Colby traipsing through the forest, with Sandra spilling all about how Russell and the Pixies eliminated her alliance. (In a sidebar, Sandra confirms that she is SO ready to jump.) Trouble is, Colby is convinced that Danielle has the Idol, based on her having the clue. (Fair enough.) So this skews their plotting. Bottom line, Colby asks “Do we take out Russell or Parvati?”
Cut to Russell and Sandra. He lets slip that there are 6 people on his side, so even if you flip it doesn’t matter. “But anyway, I trust you.” Sandra kind of giggles as he walks away. (Note to Sandra: Don’t ever floss your teeth in front of us like you just did. Not pretty.)
Sandra goes to Rupert. I’m ready, let’s get Russell. Oh, by the way, Russell says one of your guys flipped. I hope they’re just lying to him. Can you check that out?
Colby goes to Amanda. Sandra’s on our side. We can do this. Russell or Parvati.
Time for the Immunity Challenge.
This one involves them using tiles to build a 10-foot “house of cards”. First to do so, Immunity. Most everyone is horrible at this, so it comes down to a race between Jerri and Russell. Jerri pulls it off just seconds ahead of Russell. (Which I’m sure sends him into a tizzy, because he won’t be able to do a showy “double idol” thing at Tribal, and therefore Parvati still owns the best move this season. More pouting.)
Back at camp, Russell gets with Candice. Write Amanda’s name down. Whether you do it or not, she’s going home. Hmm. At this point, I don’t see the math behind that statement, but you never know. And really, it’s all about the playing of the hidden idol. Which Russell owns, so the little chihuahua will probably squeak by again.
Candice in a sidebar: At this point, people are going to be mad, either way I go. True. But are you really going to side with Russell? He will throw you under the bus. And when you’re old and gray, wouldn’t it be nice to have a merit badge on your cardigan sweater that says “I tricked Russell”?
Quick scene with most of the Heroes (not sure if Sandra was there, we saw lots of body parts so I can‘t be certain). Rupert: “Everyone has to make sure to write Russell’s name down.” Interestingly enough, there’s an odd expression on Amanda’s face. What’s up with that? Then again, there’s some low wattage with that bulb. Who knows.
Very revealing scene with Russell, Candice and Parvati. Candy tells Russell that the Heroes are voting for him. Parvati: “I’ve never seen Amanda lay down and die like this.” Candice: “She thinks she’s safe.” Parvati: “That makes more sense to me.” Then a weird thing that I don’t understand. Russell: “Who told you she was good? Did Sandra say she was good?” Candice nods.
Wait. So what IS Candice doing? Which side is she on?
Russell runs as fast as he can to find Sandra, with Candice trailing along behind him. Russell tells Sandra that Candice said Sandra was going to vote for him. Sandra denies this. Candice catches up with them. Russell basically threatens both of them, because that’s the only way he knows to operate. Then they all glare at each other for a bit. (Candice and Sandra have to bend down to do this, but still.)
Russell in a sidebar: All I need is one vote from either one of them, and Amanda goes home. Unless they have a genius plan where both of them are going to flip. Then it might be ME going home.
I immediately run and light a votive candle and begin chanting prayers.
Scene with Sandra, Rupert, Colby and Candice. Sandra is understandably freaking a little bit. Colby: “Candice is on our side. Calm down. We’re voting Parvati.”
Really? Not Russell?
Then Rupert explains. Either Danielle has the idol, or she’s going to give it to Russell. Total blindside if we vote for Parvati. Another scene with Candice swearing that she will not leave Sandra swinging in the wind. And Colby flat out says: If this doesn’t work, then we know that Candice flipped. And Candice is sitting right there. She makes a face that will not put her on the cover of “Glamour”.
I have no idea what’s going to happen at this point.
Then we have ANOTHER confusing scene, with Sandra and Candice on the beach. Russell and Danielle try to run up and get in the middle of things, but Sandra sends them away. “Can you JUST give us a minute? Every time I try to talk to someone other people are in my face.” (True.) Sandra to Candice: “Just vote Parvati.” Candice wants to vote Amanda, which clearly says she’s siding with Russell. Sandra: I am putting myself on the line for YOU. Who do you really want out?”
The camera cuts away before Candice responds. Of course.
And Jeff makes the focus all about Sandra. How do the Heroes win her over? How do the Villains convince her to stay? Russell makes it clear that he thinks Sandra is worthless, but at the same time, you have a better chance of winning at the end with a worthless person. Nice. How’s that for a warm fuzzy, Sandra?
Jeff: Who has the immunity idol? Colby: Danielle has it. (Nope.) Jeff: “Parvati, you worried?” Parv: Of course. I’ve given away my protection. Jeff: “Russell, you could be a target.” Russ: “Unless I find an idol, I’m gone.” Oh please. What’s that bulge in your pocket? The “Survivor” producers?
Time to vote.
Jeff “tallies” the votes. “Anyone have the idol?”
Russell plays his, giving a boring, self-congratulating speech.
End result, 3 votes for Parvati, 6 for Amanda, which means that both Sandra and Candice went to the dark side. What the hell? I. Just. Don’t. Get. These. People.
Parvati to Russell: “Dude, you wasted that idol.” (Déjà vu.)
Doesn’t really matter. He’ll find another one on his way home from Tribal.
By the way, anybody keeping an eye on the growing jury pool? Does Russell really think he can get a vote out of that mess? Just wondering…