Friday, June 11, 2010

Backup Dancers From Hell: Kesha - “Your Love Is My Drug”




  Wow, they sure didn’t spend any money on this thing.

  Anyway, we start out with some close-up shots of Kesha’s various body parts because she’s all about “her art” and isn’t a tramp at all. She’s waking up way out in the desert some place, because this is where you have to live when people get a little tired of hearing you on the radio. She’s apparently using some guy’s stomach as a pillow. Or maybe she just fell.

  Kesha takes a closer look at the guy, and is startled to discover he’s wearing a nasty headband, which is a sure sign of trouble. She leaps to her feet and runs away across the sand. I’m guessing she doesn’t remember his name and she’s trying to avoid any social awkwardness.

  Next thing you know, Kesha is riding an elephant and wearing a bonnet that she stole from the Statue of Liberty. That’s really stupid, so we cut to a tight shot on Kesha’s boots as she staggers through the desert. The heat makes her burst into song and wave her arms like she just spotted a taxi.

  Oh wait, there she is on the elephant again, followed by her sporting a tiger mask and assuming a squat-like position. (She likes zoos? She likes to hunt game?) Then we have several shots of her Native American jewelry as she twirls around and can’t keep still, singing about her inability to stop banging her head against the wall. Perhaps she should speak to a physician about that.

  Now she seems to have made up with the Pillow Jesus Man, because he’s back in the picture and they hold hands while a fan blows somewhere off to the side. More animal references, wild arm movements, and clunky jewelry that has GOT to be on her nerves by now. She weighs about 40 pounds. How is she managing to stay on her feet with all the wind and accessories?

  Then they start screwing around with a kaleidoscope or something, because we suddenly have six refracted images of Kesha as she prances around in the sand. This unnerves me somewhat, because I don’t think the world needs six of her. But she keeps dancing anyway, delighting in the concept of an army of her body parts conquering the planet.

  Elephant again.

  Oh, now she and Jesus are in a boat. She’s being really rude and jumping around while he tries to row them back to the Garden of Eden or maybe a place where bushes burn. Then again, I guess it doesn’t really matter how obnoxious she’s being, because there’s not any water and they aren’t actually moving. Kesha makes a reference to a “lovesick crackhead” and I officially quit trying to determine the plot.

  Good move on my part, because they’re still in the boat, but now some untalented artist is messing around with the film, using crayons to create water and buoys and giant crabs. Kesha reacts to the added décor by… I don’t what she’s doing. Pointing is involved, and wiggling around in Daisy Dukes. Then a giant cartoon wave covers up the boat, and I’m hoping the video is over so I can go harvest sugar cane in Farmville.

  Nope. Now we’re in underwater cartoon world, where the fish have human faces and they are singing. (Well, THAT just ruined Sea World for me.) The oddities continue, with a nearly naked man covering his harmonica with an absurdly-long beard, carnivorous fish that turn into mermaids, and a general theme that life in the ocean can kill you.

  Back to the desert, where Kesha is struggling to escape some evil cargo netting that she apparently got tangled in during the chorus. She flails a bit, but she’s really not trying that hard and I don’t feel especially sorry for her. Besides, doesn’t she have an assistant that can just cut that damn thing off of her? Where is he? I guess even rock stars have trouble with the help.

  Then we start jumping around, with more shots of Kesha lamely trying to fight off the Net of Death (twirling and trying to fly seem to be her signature defense moves), Kesha and Jesus standing on some big rocks and waiting for additional Commandments that might possibly be delivered, and the realization that Kesha really likes the feel of sand on her body, as well as turquoise streaks on her cheek.

  As Kesha sings about having a slumber party in her basement (just say no, kids), we are treated to images of Kesha in an outfit splattered with day-glo paint, cavorting with more boulders and a snake (music executives?), looking like there was an incident at the Play-Doh factory. I’m thinking more than just “love” is her drug.

  We’re back to cartoon world, with animals mutating and a giant billboard to remind us what the name of this song is. This is possibly a tribute to Sergeant Pepper and/or the Beatles, but really, how is Kesha going to know about that? This is clearly the work or an art director with OCD, a fondness for hemp, and a membership in AARP.

  Now it’s night time in the desert, and Kesha has settled down a little bit. She and Jesus are making S’mores at a campfire, and perhaps writing a few things down in case Moses has some extra tablets. Kesha is still really happy about her jewelry and her ability to wave her arms like she’s signaling rescue workers in helicopters.

  The song and the video wind down with Kesha doing that weird baby talk business at the end, only now Jesus is watching her and probably wondering why this disciple has proven to be so challenging and flirty. Kesha doesn’t care. Does Jesus have any gold records? I don’t think so. So she laughs a lot and plays with her hair, because she’s still young and doesn’t understand things like consequences, mortality, and an agent that really knows what he’s doing.

  Final shot is of Kesha on that damn elephant, sporting the Statue of Liberty headdress. Give me your tired, your poor, and your teenagers with disposable income….


Click Here to Watch the Video on YouTube.

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