Sunday, May 8, 2011

Backup Dancers From Hell: Bonnie Raitt - “Something To Talk About”

Okay, folks, this another one of those videos where there’s no real story line, just images of people doing things while Bonnie strokes her instrument. So we’ll have to do the time-stamp thing.

0:01 Somebody’s wet head is getting caressed while he is apparently in a swimming pool or a really big bathtub.

0:05 Short photographer guy is taking pictures of something.

0:11 Very happy couple is frolicking on the beach, with one person riding on the shoulders of the other, and lots of hand-waving as the sun sets.

0:14 Older couple dancing somewhere. They both seem very invested in retaining what little hair they have left on their heads. And they both seem to be in pain of some kind.

0:17 Strange woman with sunglasses and a balloon hat does something possibly sexual with her tongue.

0:24 Bonnie finally appears. She seems to be playing a gig where they used Granny Mae’s shower curtain as a backdrop. And Bonnie is sporting the requisite torn jeans to show that she’s hip and earthy, and doesn’t mind sudden gusts of wind in places that you normally wouldn’t expect such.

0:29 Old couple still dancing. Well, maybe. They don’t seem to be moving at this point.

0:35 Another couple standing near a tree, with the woman so excited to be wearing odd thigh-high boots that she wraps them around her partner’s waist. He certainly doesn’t seem to mind.

0:39 Strange Balloon Hat woman is still very happy.

0:41 Carly Simon on a good day?

0:42 Old couple again, with the woman allowing the man to touch her in a non-1950’s way. She shows her appreciation by pointing her leg to the ceiling.

0:52 Some woman trying to smoke a ballpoint pen. While wearing a hat made out of a leftover piece of a Prince costume, circa the “Paisley Park” period.

0:54 Van Halen?

1:02 Snoop Dogg?

1:04 Somebody’s hand fondling a hairy chest. So far, this is the most exciting part of the video for me. Call me shallow.

1:11 Belinda Carlisle on the beach, after she escaped from The Go-Go’s.

1:20 Old couple again.

1:24 Tammy Wynette on a really bad day. Dancing with someone who left some of his teeth on the bathroom sink.

1:34 Breasty woman is tossed into a swimming pool.

1:36 Wait, did they parole Charles Manson?

1:49 Woman flips hair with amazing agility.

2:01 Is that Joey Ramone playing drums? Did I miss a memo?

2:11 Is Bonnie wearing a garter belt as a bra?

2:18 Limber Girl with thigh-high boots straddles her partner’s waist once again. Doesn’t she have any other skill?

2:21 Old couple again.

2:31 Tight shot of a trollop’s crotch. I guess they were trying to hit all the demographics here.

2:38 Carlos Santana?

2:42 Woman in ugly-print dress is twirled about.

2:54 Dancing woman proves that green is not necessarily a flattering dress color.

3:03 Thigh-High Boot Woman is apparently having sex in a position that no one has ever tried before.

3:11 Tammy Wynette, still having that bad day.

3:15 Who are these people?

3:16 Gratuitous soft-porn shot of free-spirited girl excited by the rising tide.

3:19 Poorly-raised child exhibiting signs of neediness and eventual incarceration.

3:23 There’s that Balloon Hat Chick again, still overly-thrilled about life in general.

3:32 Old couple again. Fade to black. Residents of Shady Pines Retirement Facility return to their lock-up cells and are refused nightly pudding cup for having run amuck after too much fiber in the evening meal…

Click Here to Watch the Video on YouTube.

No comments:

Post a Comment