Saturday, May 21, 2011

Backup Dancers From Hell: Gavin DeGraw - “I Don’t Want To Be”


We start out in some nightclub with the camera zooming around showing us that most of the people up in this place are frozen in position and not really doing anything. At first, I think this might be some type of political commentary about Congress, but I’m probably reading more into it that I really should. So I decide to withhold judgment while the camera swirls about among the actors as they refrain from movement.

Oh wait, some of the people actually do have a pulse, and these people are all grouped around Gavin and his band. I guess he’s exuding some type of energy to keep them alive, which I suppose is a nice thing for him to do. But he’s wearing one of those stupid knit hats that are all the rage for no apparent reason, the kind that mash your hair down and make it look like you have a diaphragm on your head. Nice.

Anyway, Gavin and his band play for a bit, and I’ll try to refrain from any comments about the size of his teeth. (Wait, did I just mess up?) The camera goes back to panning around the rest of the club where Gavin isn’t, and the people are still frozen. We zoom in on one particular girl, focus lovingly on her for a second, then cut back to Gavin and his couture-challenged buddies as they bang on their guitars and try to act all street.

We get another shot of this particular girl, so it appears that she must be important in some way and we‘ll probably keep visiting her, so we need to give her a name. Let’s go with Priscilla, a moniker that’s slightly pretentious because there’s something about her hairstyle that says she could be really high-maintenance. Oh, wait, Priscilla just blinked, making her a non-frozen person. Has she been awakened from her slumber by the vocal stylings of Gavin? So many questions, so little time left in the video.

Back to Gavin for confirmation that he’s still singing, which we pretty much assume since his voice is all over the soundtrack, then back to Priscilla. Yep, she’s fully alive now, and glancing around at the other mannequins in the room like somebody trapped in a “Twilight Zone” episode and realizing that things are not all they are supposed to be.

Um, my bad, I just twisted some of Gavin’s lyrics to fit my own needs. Oh well, I’m sure they’ll contact me if this displeases one of his lawyers. While Gavin and friends continue to warble and strut around with their guitars, Priscilla starts wandering through the club and looking at all the mannequin people like she finds them distasteful. (Sweetie, two seconds ago you were one of them, don’t be so judgmental.)

Priscilla makes her way to two female frozen people who were apparently applying makeup when the awful thing happened that made them frozen. Instead of trying to help them in any way, which is what a good citizen should do even if you don’t agree with their political or social choices, Priscilla snatches up one girl’s lip-liner pencil and proceeds to write “Imposter” on the stiff girl’s forehead. I guess there are some unresolved issues that we don’t know about.

Back to Gavin and his gang playing in that one room where only groupies are allowed to be mobile. (Well, except for Priscilla, who has apparently earned a very special hall pass.) Then we cut to what appears to be a game of poker, where I don’t think anyone can win, because, well, they can’t actually move and collect their winnings. This is followed by shots of somebody tromping up some stairs.

This somebody turns out to be Priscilla, who saunters around the upper level of the club, and seems to be mystified by all the frozen people. (But the people on the lower level didn’t make her pause and wonder? Is she just not paying attention?) And then things get a little twisted. As Gavin continues singing downstairs and rips off his jacket in an odd tribute to… who knows what, Priscilla approaches one of the frozen frat boys in a sultry manner.

Cut back to Gavin, who is now playing a piano, even though we can’t hear any of this on the soundtrack. (Okay, maybe his efforts are audible to classically-trained people, but all I’m hearing are guitars and the swiveling hips of groupies.) Cut to Priscilla trying to kiss the frozen frat boy. Really? Is the dating scene THAT bad these days?

When the frozen frat boy doesn’t respond to Priscilla’s tainted-love maneuvers (big surprise) she decides to head back downstairs where there’s a least one room where people have an actual pulse. On her way there, Priscilla first steals a scarf off another frozen chickie (I’m thinking Priscilla didn’t really have a lot of moral training), fluffs her hair in a handy nearby mirror, also steals the frozen chickie’s hat, but then throws it on the ground in a snit of dissatisfaction. Priscilla is just rude, there’s no other way to paint this.

And now we have more of Gavin and the Gang jamming out. (He’s quit pretending to play that piano that doesn’t actually seem to work, so I’m thankful for that.) Gavin warbles for a while, then we see a set of doors thrown open as Priscilla tromps in the room wearing a scarf that is not hers and the remnants of some lip gloss from the frat boy that just wasn’t into her.

The video ends with Priscilla making goo-goo eyes at Gavin while marching toward him, and Gavin returns a lusty gaze full of desire and yearning.

But dude, her first choice was somebody who couldn’t even move. Are you really going to be happy in this relationship?


Click Here to Watch the Video on YouTube…

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