Sunday, May 15, 2011

Backup Dancers From Hell: Evanescence - “My Immortal”

We start off with somebody wearing those ballet wrap things on their feet whilst sticking a toe in some water, along with some guy sitting on a piano bench and being really sad that he can’t figure out where the piano is. Oh, look, now we see that it must have been lead singer Amy’s feet, because there she is sprawled out on something, with her other body parts partially swathed in those bandages.

Amy starts singing, and she must be really tired, because at first she doesn’t even bother to sit up. But after another shot of the sad piano man, she seems to perk up a bit. Cut back to the Piano Man, and now he’s wandering around one of those vaguely-European cities, then he’s once more at the piano, triggering a shot of Amy, tired again and resting on what looks like scaffolding. (Is she in the construction business when she’s not on tour?)

Now we have Amy in a vaguely-European courtyard, wearing a Flower Child outfit, complete with festive junk in her hair. Then she’s flat-out on that scaffolding again, briefly on her feet in the courtyard, then on her back once more, this time on top of a small vaguely-European car. Is she really that worn out? What are they doing to this girl that she has to take all these naps?

And we go on like this for a while, with Amy draped across a variety of things, like warehouses and school buses. (Piano Man, in case you were wondering, is still sitting at that piano and looking unhappy.) Amy does gather enough strength to actually sing while sitting up, at least for a bit, in this nice tree that somebody found. Then she’s back on the roof of that tiny car, doing something with her hands. (Is she signaling for the nurse to bring more medication?)

Oh, look, Piano Man is up and moving about as well, wandering through the vaguely-European streets while vaguely-European children kick a soccer ball around and destroy thousand-year-old statues with one kick. Piano Man seems to be enjoying the architecture, then he scurries off to go do something else that we don’t know about. (Making sure that there are enough places for Amy to lie down on the next leg of the tour?)

More shots of Lounging Amy and her perfectly arranged layers of hair. Then she’s on the car again, in the tree again, on top of a mailbox, on a wall, and on a fence railing. (Does Amy just not understand what furniture is? People need to explain things to her.)

It looks like Amy’s favorite location is the top of that warehouse, because she’s now spending a lot of time there, especially during the really dramatic part of the song when the rock music kicks in and Amy wails like she’s just seen the face of Celine Dion on a tortilla.

This shouting from the rooftops inspires Piano Man as well, as he suddenly starts pounding on the piano while some of his buddies in another room do the hair-metal part. (One of the guitar players even does that long-jump thing while shredding his axe, going for some authenticity, despite the fact that no one but guitar players thinks doing so is any fun.)

Wow, I forgot how long this rock part of the song goes on. Anyway, they finally finish with that mess. And of course, Amy is tired again. She’s sprawled out on something or other, still very invested in sluggishly waving her arms about and wondering why they keep making her wear ballet-flavored bondage gear.

We wind things down with repeat scenes of all the vaguely-European buildings and people and ancient fountains where Amy likes to stick her nasty feet. (People drink out of that, honey. It’s not your personal litter box.) Amy also makes her way back up in that tree, where she cries, probably because she’s too tired to climb back down. As expected, the final shot is of Amy on top of that warehouse, with night falling in the distance over the vaguely-European village as she drifts into another nap and dreams of new places to lay down…

Click Here to Watch the Video on YouTube.

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