We start out at the La Flor camp, with the pre-schoolers returning from Tribal. They’re all confused and stunned about what happened, muttering things like “That blew my mind!” and “That was crazy!” Well, yeah, you got to watch Shannon completely melt down on national television, to the point where most of you couldn’t even pretend to be his friend anymore and you sent his ass home. (Good for you. Well, except for the few folks that didn’t vote to get rid of Shannon Palin.)
Speaking of, NaOnka has some special words for those few in a sidebar: “Everybody acting all cool with it, but they not. Alina, Kelly B and Jud, this is gonna bite you in the ass.” I already can’t stand NaOnka, she’s just got too much attitude for no reason, but in this particular case she’s right. You’re going to stick with a racist bigot and do his bidding? Then you need to go. Sadly, some of these youngsters will get distracted easily and forget, like when the kindergarten teacher comes in and hands out juice boxes.
Roll opening credits.
Cut to the Espada camp, where the older folks are all traipsing through the jungle. They can hear howler monkeys whooping it up somewhere, so they’ve decided to find the monkeys, since the monkeys should be near food in the trees. They finally find the irritating howlers, and Jimmy Johnson proceeds to make animal noises that the monkeys understand. The monkeys shut up and gaze at Jimmy as if Lazarus just stepped out of a cave and said “I was only kidding. I was just taking a nap.”
Cue Marty in a sidebar, where he proceeds to rip at Jimmy J. Marty can’t stand Jimmy J, because people are paying attention to him and not Marty. And Jimmy J has special talents like the ability to carry on conversations with other species. (After all, he worked for Jerry Jones for how many years?) Marty hates Jimmy. HATES him.
Then we have scenes with Jimmy J teaching most of the tribe how to fish. His advice proves quite useful, and suddenly everybody is successful. Fish are practically jumping out of the ocean and into the arms of the fishers. This pisses off Marty even more, with another sidebar where he tears at Jimmy J again. (Dude, he’s helping your people get food. And it’s working. What happened in your childhood that made you so bitter?)
Side note: You really need to pause your DVR when Holly is talking to Jimmy J. Study her one-piece swimsuit. Is that thing on backwards? Why does the crotch look that way? That’s not right. Seriously, really not right. Holly scares me.
A few scenes with Jill and Marty. He’s fussing about Jimmy J (big surprise). She tells him to chill, that people like Jimmy and hatin’ on him could be a problem. But then she blurts that he should show the Idol he has to everybody.
What? Showing the Idol can cost you.
Cut to the La Flor camp, where we are treated to scenes of Jud/Fabio starting a fire, but then forgetting to move his head back when the fire catches and he nearly asphyxiates himself with smoke inhalation. Then we see him in a sidebar: “I wanna be kept around for my mentality.” Kind of a big leap, don’t you think? (NaOnka in her own sidebar: His hair got on my nerves on Day 1.)
Back to Espada, with everyone sitting around eating, and Marty states “I have an announcement”. (An announcement? Is this a board meeting? No, it’s not.) He shows the Idol, they all clap. Marty: “We’ll play it when we need it.”
Jimmy T in a sidebar, with his ugly-ass hair: I love Marty!
Tyrone in a sidebar, um, without any hair: Maybe he got team points by sharing about the Idol, but Marty is shady.
Word.
Marty in a sidebar: In the end “the Idol belongs to me”. Have you told Jill that? Because she’s the one that really found it. She has red hair. This means she will cut you if you do her wrong.
Then we have Dan in a sidebar. He’s really hungry and tired. Then we have scenes of him being really hungry and tired, limping about and feeling sorry for himself. (Yve in a sidebar about Dan’s gumption: “He doesn’t have it.”) More shots of Dan being unable to lift a twig or stand up while peeing. But hey, if somebody’s cooking something, he’s the first in line at the simmering pot.
Over to the La Flor tribe, where several of the kiddies have gathered on a beach. They’re discussing the fate of Alina and Kelly B. They have to go. (Hello? What about Jud? He voted the same way.) Alina in a sidebar: “I’m not in the best position.” NaOnka in a sidebar: “We gotta get Alina out.” Jud in a sidebar…. Oh wait, he still doesn’t really understand what that is. Stay tuned.
Time for the Immunity/Reward Challenge.
In this one, the teams have to race out and collect 10 barrels, roll them back to a staging area where they have to arrange them on platforms, then they have to throw sandbags so that one lands on each barrel. (The Reward part of it is the “Survivor Garden”, a mess of spices, fruits, vegetables, and such.) The La Flor tribe opts to not use their Medallion of Advantage. Benry: “We don’t need it.” Really? After you guys made fun of the older tribe for not using it that one time? Uh huh. Hope you lose just because of your arrogance. And the fact that I can’t stand any of you.
Off we go. The younger tribe initially surges, but the older tribe catches up and it’s very tight, with everyone trying to do their best. (Except for Dan. Jeff actually yells at one point: “Dan, you need to do something.”) During the last bit, with the sandbag tossing, the older tribe initially takes the lead, with Tyrone hitting target after target. Then he falters, and Jimmy T starts yelling for Tyrone to step back and let him have a shot. Tyrone ignores him (this will prove a critical point later) until Jimmy J convinces Tyrone to let Jimmy T try.
But it’s too late. The younger La Flor tribe, with Benry doing the throwing, hits all of the marks first. They win.
While the Espada tribe marches back home empty-handed, the La Flor tribe runs to fetch their reward. Kelly B purposely lunges for the basket of fruit, convinced that there might be a clue to an Idol. As she hoists it in her arms, we see that she’s right. There’s a little scroll tucked into the winnings. Trouble is, NaOnka sees this as well, and immediately decides that she and Kelly B are going to be best friends and carry the basket together. (NaOnka in a sidebar: “I’m going for the paper!”)
The La Flor tribe marches back to camp, and as soon as they reach the clearing, NaOnka turns all linebacker and knocks Kelly out of the way so she can grab the tiny scroll. (In the process, bananas get smashed, a harbinger of doom.) NaOnka dashes off to the beach and into a sidebar: “You could say I got all hood on Kelly B. But I did not get ghetto.”
There’s a difference? I guess I need to pay more attention.
Later, NaOnka drags Brenda on a walk, and shows her the Idol clue. They try to figure it out, but they can’t quite get it. Then “The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” comes on the Coconut TV and they get all distracted.
Cut to the Espada camp, where things are a bit tense with the fact that Tyrone initially did not let anyone else try tossing the sandbags. Jimmy T to the group: “My talent is being wasted!” (Say, Jimmy T, can you actually define talent?) It does appear that most of the tribe is at least slightly miffed with Tyrone not letting someone else try until it was too late.
Jimmy T in a sidebar: “I’m a born leader. I should be leading this tribe.” (Oh, puh-leeze.)
Tyrone in a sidebar: “Everybody can’t touch the ball.” (This distracts me a little bit, with my mind going places that don’t really apply.)
Marty in a sidebar: “I’m looking forward to Tribal. It will force the tribe to start playing this game.” (Dude, you want to go to Tribal? Do you not watch the show? I mean, I’m assuming that they get the broadcast signal on your planet.)
Cut to Marty and Jimmy J splashing around in the surf, strategizing. As usual. Jimmy J is telling it like it is. As usual, Marty is seething with jealousy that Jimmy J is able to both handle and speak the truth. (Marty in a sidebar: “I need to remove JJ so people will lose their daddy.”) Seriously, are we in elementary school here?
Scene with Marty and Jill talking. Marty: “Coach has to go.” Jill: To me, Holly, Dan and JJ are all the same. Whichever one needs to go. Just tell me what to do. (But in a sidebar, Jill fesses that she’s only trying to appease Marty because of the Idol thing, and that she thinks Marty is way too focused on the wrong person. Then she finds a seashell shaped like Rosie O’Donnell and we’ve lost her.)
Marty runs to tell Dan to vote for Jimmy J. Of course Dan agrees. (Dan in a sidebar: “I’m in much better shape than JJ.” You’re kidding, right? Because we’ve seen you lying on your sorry butt in the hut while JJ is out harpooning whales.)
Marty runs to tell Jimmy T to vote for Jimmy J. No problem. Jimmy T is firmly convinced that he has been anointed by God to save the world, despite his unfamiliarity with washing his own hair or having any social skills.
Scene with Jane and Holly, where they basically agree to look out for one another, and they don’t think that Jimmy J should go home. (Jane in a sidebar: “JJ’s my fishing buddy!”) This is followed by a scene with Jimmy J, Yve and Holly as they fish. Jimmy J fesses they “might not see me for a while”, because he knows what’s going on with Marty. Both of the women act like Jimmy J is going nowhere. Especially Yve, who tells Jimmy J that she is her favorite person in the tribe.
Marty runs to Tyrone. Marty: “Write Coach’s name down.” Tyrone: “I don’t know about that.” (Tyrone in a sidebar: “Marty’s paranoid. I think Marty’s all about Marty. I’m more worried about Danny.”)
Marty in a sidebar: “These people are not thinking the game through. Do NOT mess around with me.”
Really can’t stand Marty. Not as much as I hated Oompa Loompa Russell during his two seasons, but still. Don’t care for him.
Time for Tribal.
Jeff: “Today’s challenge. What happened?”
Jimmy T immediately seizes this opportunity to let everyone know that if Tyrone hadn’t been such a stubborn pig, Jimmy T could have saved the day. It’s all Jimmy J’s fault for not sending him in sooner. Really? Jeff’s not buying that, so he digs deeper. Jeff to Jimmy T: “How are you getting along with Jimmy J?” Jimmy T: “Maybe I’m a threat to his leadership role.”
Tyrone rolls his eyes. “I’m baffled by that statement.”
Jimmy J about Jimmy T: “I thought we had a good relationship.”
Jeff to Dan: “Are you a strong player?” Dan: I’m pretty good. Jill: I’m not so sure about that. Jane: Ditto.
Jeff to Jimmy T: “Who are the weakest players?” Jimmy T: “I won’t say, but there’s three or four.”
Jeff: Fine. Let’s do a roll call. He asks each of the tribe members if they think they are weak. The only one who admits to that is Jimmy Johnson. Again, he’s being honest, while in reality, half the tribe is lying, especially Dan and Jimmy T.
Marty: “These people need to wake up.” There’s a whole lot going on that they don’t realize.
Jeff: You really want to say that right now? At Tribal?
Time to vote.
Two things. One is that Jeff is clearly trying to steer the heat away from Jimmy Johnson. I normally don’t like it when Jeff tries to insert his own opinions or influence the vote, but in this case I’m fine with it. Second, based on everything that the producers have shown us in this episode, and the way key players are acting at Tribal, Jimmy Johnson shouldn’t be in any trouble.
Yet when the vote comes back, it’s unanimous against Jimmy J.
He’s very gracious in his exit.
But clearly, something monumental happened at the Espada camp that would make everyone vote for JJ. Every single one of them, despite appearances that only Marty, JT, and Dan had an issue with JJ. Obviously, this was a totally manipulated episode. But I shouldn’t be surprised, right?
Jeff: “You just voted out a proven leader.”
Marty smirks.
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