Okay, a few confessions up front. I had no idea this group was so huge in the rest of the world, proving that I don’t get out much. Second, there are about 400 million people in this video, so I don’t know which people are from Far East Movement and which people are from Stereotypes. Besides, with all the hundreds of bouncing people and the thousands of shimmying breasts, I can’t tell what body parts belong to whom.
Oh, and because I don’t think any scene in this video lasts longer than 1.743 seconds, with constant jump-cutting from here to Buffalo and back, there’s no way I can develop a storyline to go with this thing. So I’m just going to make observational commentary at critical time points in the video. Ready? Go.
0:01 Some guy standing on a mountain.
0:03 Some guy trying to jump-start his crotch.
0:05 Some girl having sex with air.
0:07 More of the mountain guy.
0:09 Extended shot (for this video) of a girl being very friendly with a pillar.
0:18 Three guys trying to do the Macarena, but only one of them kind of remembers the moves.
0:19 Astronauts in a car.
0:23 People wearing tinfoil on stage.
0:26 Somebody screwing with a blue record on a turntable.
0:32 The Macarena guys are still trying to remember the steps.
0:40 Some guy throws a gold, sparkly purse at some paparazzi. Two people die.
0:47 Some guy is trying to swallow a microphone. His homeys keep dancing.
0:50 What’s up with that ponytail?
0:54 The two remaining members of TLC bump fannies while a lost cheerleader in the background tries to find the rest of her squad.
1:00 A woman’s chest is being attacked by colorful fishies. She raises her arm to signal for medical personnel.
1:05 The guy on the mountain has gas.
1:08 The astronauts in that car are really mad about something.
1:12 Chewbacca from “Star Wars” makes a cameo. No explanation is given. Nobody screams, so I guess things are okay.
1:14 Some guy grabs his crotch. Thank you, rappers of America, the need to fondle your junk has now gone global. Makes me proud.
1:17 Some drunk girl with an odd red belt thinks she’s all that. She’s not.
1:24 Some guy poses in front of a leftover publicity still from Fritz Lang’s “Metropolis”.
1:26 Slutty girls dance with a guy sitting on a toilet. Seriously. I can’t even begin to understand what this means. And I don’t want to.
1:30 Metropolis guy shows us how to count tequila shots. Thank you for that. Couldn’t have done it without you.
1:41 Are those guys flipping us off?
1:45 Toilet guy sings a few words while one of the sluts prevents him from gaining access to the seat liners. She mean. Then Toilet Guy takes a call while the sluts continue to dance. I think this scene right here might explain everything that has gone wrong in Society.
2:01 More astronauts. Shouldn’t these guys be trying to fly something somewhere?
2:03 Limber woman shows her cooter to anybody that wants to look.
2:09 Is that Eminem?
2:13 More bouncing.
2:26 Trying not to judge, but something about this shot says “Ku Klux Klan”.
2:30 Chewbacca proves that he got street moves. Not that he’s going to remember them in the morning.
2:27 Another girl having sex with air. Is this the new thing?
2:49 Can that girl look any less impressed about being groped by a stranger?
2:52 Shout out to the lesbians in the audience.
2:58 Some girl on stage gets electrocuted. Poor thing.
3:06 Drunk girls holding signs. If they try really hard, they might find work at wrestling matches.
3:13 Drag queen gone wild.
3:18 Woman with exposed butt-crack proves that she likes metal accessories.
3:23 Chewbacca loses his mask. This would never have happened if George Lucas was in charge.
3:28 Astronauts, still not reporting for duty.
3:32 Guy on mountain tries directing us back to a place where things make sense.
3:34 Some girl doesn’t understand that “In Living Color” was cancelled a long time ago and she can’t be a Fly Girl.
3:41 People not understanding that you really shouldn’t stand up in convertibles traveling at high rates of speed. (Is that Michael Jackson leaning over the windshield?)
3:42 Confused individual dancing upside down, while a young Shania Twain watches from the right.
3:54 The song ends and the camera pans to some bright lights on the ceiling. I’m thinking the last thing these people need is more stimulation.
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